Yesterday was not so good....

So I was doing well right after the chemo and then yesterday it just kind of hit me!!! I could not hold anything down...not a cracker ...not water...I tell you this not for you to feel sorry for me, but b/c I know if I ask, you will pray for me! It is so hard to not be able to be all upbeat in my children's faces, but I am so thankful my mother has basically moved in and is helping me in everyway! But you know I wanna be the one watching their every moment. I keep praying that the Lord is pushing that chemo through my body for complete healing!!!! And that I will have better days with my babies even during this time of treatment. Today I got some meds and feel a bit better well a lot better than yesterday! I am wondering if the Herceptin treatments will make me as sick as the big cocktail...hey whatever it takes!!! Today I also met with my surgeon so he could do a regular check-up on my port...it looks fine! He wants to see me after my next Big cocktail to see if the cancer has shrunk enough for a mastectomy...I told him GREAT and when we do this ... take them both!!!! We just chatted and he was like in an "ideal" situation the cancer will shrink everywhere to where they can't even see it and we would just pray it doesn't come back since we are not going to be taking out my liver and/or lung. With us removing my breasts and the two lymph nodes...they wouldn't be there for the cancer to grow back into ...I guess ..I hope that makes sense! My prayer is that it shrinks so small that it is not EVEN there and never comes back!!!!!!!!! Just a tidbit ...many of you know my kids sleep in the room with me...well we have put a bed in our room for our precious Micah and we went to buy new pillows and stuff and he picked out these pillows with the pink breast cancer ribbon all around the edges and he will not let us put the pillow cases on them that would cover them up! He doesn't know what they even mean or that I have cancer...he just knows I am sick!!! Isn't that crazy :O) Thank you all my old and new friends and my forever brothers and sisters in Christ!!! PS- Just b/c I haven't asked yet doesn't mean I won't be asking some of you for some help with my kids or rides to treatment, etc. Thank you much!!! "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" Isaiah 40:29-31